i found this picture of me from 3 years ago (sec2) HAHA
heyyy.
just a short blogpost because i've got alot of things on my mind and too much time on my hands.
so there's 5 more days till i get my olevel results and i can honestly say that i've never felt more nervous about anything else before, not even the feeling before taking the actual olevel papers can compare with what im feeling now.
when you take your olevel paper, you may be nervous but at least you know that you still have the ability to change the grade that you'll get at the end. but now, you can do nothing. your hands are tied until they release your results. i guess one reason why im so nervous is because i've studied really hard, put in all my all for my olevels and there really is no reason for me to do badly. because of the countless sleepless nights and all the hardwork that ive put in, my parents and i expect myself to do extremely well and i'm just afraid that i wont. i keep assuring myself that i've put in my best effort but the suspense towards monday (release of results) is killing me.
also, i've thrashed the idea of considering jc at all. which is odd and a surprise because ive been aiming to go to jc since i was sec1. after olevels, you really have the time to sit down and lay out the pros and cons of jc and poly and really understand and discover yourself and what you want to do with the rest of your life. i realised that the only reason i wanted jc was because my parents and basically everyone else in my family tree (cousins etc) all went to jc and i just wanted to fit in. i thought being enrolled to a polytechnic would cause disappointment among my family towards me.
after much thought, i didnt want to consider jc at all because if you think about it, my current results are because of extreme hardwork. i cannot guarantee or assure myself well enough that i'll have the same level of motivation to study as hard in jc. furthermore, for jc, the only path is to go on to university after alevels. but lets be real, not everyone will go on to university right? so those that dont, their alevel certificate would mean nothing more than a piece of paper.
unlike poly, you have a wide range of courses to choose from. you only study a specific module, a specific field and you get a diploma at the end of the 3 years there. lets say you dont get into a university, you can still use your diploma to get a job, or enroll in an overseas university. and also, 3 years gives me time to make and cultivate friendships and thats really important to me because im someone that loves interacting with people.
saying that, getting into my desired course is equally as hard as getting into a jc.
i just hope i did well enough to get into the course i want.
i've also been working at jack's place (compass) for about 2 months since i had my prom last year. i never thought i'll go into the f&b line and im truly thankful for liting, dragging me to this job despite me violently objecting it. i made many close friends in such a short amount of time it scares me. when i started, i had no friends because liting left before we could even have a shift together. i had to talk to people and now i look forward to work everyday!
being the good girl i am, i spent my first pay on my family. i took my family to seoul garden on my dad's birthday as a treat. and it felt really good to just start paying back to my parents for basically bringing me up.
i guess that's it? i've been thinking alot recently and with no school, ive got so much time to spare.
wish me luck for next monday! hopefully the pioneer batch of edgefield sec did well!
